2009

2009...
31 days to go...
what will happen to me in 2009?
hmmm...
i just hope that i won't get sick...
[unless i need a good excuse to escape something]
next year is going to be one of my most important year in my life...
SPM...
even the words look frightening...
and...
the one that i most afraid of may also happen in 2009...
NS...
[this is even worst then SPM]
don't know why...
although i never participate in it...
i just...
hate it...
or maybe more to scare...

anyway...
2009...
i just want to concentrate on my study...
and health of course...
so...
i will be less active in my activities in 2009...
[although i am not sure whether i can keep myself away from drum]
maybe i will not be joining next year drum competition...
but then...
i thought of my testimonial...
what am i going to write then?
[don't 'harap' on my other uniform]
maybe i will just join the sports day performance...
next...
i have plan out my schedule for 2009....:
- monday: tuition~ Add Maths 7pm-8.30pm
-tuesday: tuition~ BM 4.20pm-6.20pm
-wednesday: tuition~ Physics 7pm-8.30pm
-thursday: stayback for account class[can be assumed as tuition] 1.30pm-3.30pm
-friday: stayback for civic class 1.30pm-2.30pm.... house practice 3.45pm-5.45pm
-saturday: activities[although i will be less active] no actual time
-sunday: FREE!!!! [finally]

2009...
will that be a lucky year for me?
i do hope so...
and when can i get my spare tyre out of my body?
it will be great if i can do it in 2009...
[possibility: <50%]
and after SPM...
i will start to learn driving...
[if i am so lucky not been picked to join NS]
meanwhile..
i will find a job...
[most probably at tesco... just 2km away from my house]

what am i going to do without my friends after SPM?
i will be so lonely...
but think of the good side...
i can keep long hair and nails...
and i can colour my hair...
[just highlight... most probably brown.. and slightly golden]
then...
i am going to shape my eyebrowns...
then...
ermmm....
that is all i can think for now...
and maybe i can use that time to cut down my weight...
o...
all that is for 2010...
so...
just leave it for that year...
i just hope that in 2009...
my family, friends, and me will be smilling throughout the year .... ^_^

24 season drum

today I am very tired...
[even now i am yawning]
well...
i just feel...
tired..
frustrated...
pressured...
although i am back to my 'drum family house' again...
i don't have that kind of 'feel'...
duno why...
[i don't even have mood to go KL buy specs anymore!hooi min ah, buy for me la..]

[yawn again]
today we have drum test...
a test to make sure we are qualify to join the competition next year...
[although most probably i won't join it anymore]
overall...
i give myself...
erm...
75?
but i think i did well in my acting [expression] test...
[i am so proud of it]
hey..
i am not thinking too much k...
the panel also 'nominate' me as best actress ma..
[just that the best actress award is won by our cute moey]
so...
80..
yup...
80...
the other 10 marks are deducted because of my big-fat-leg and body...
after almost 4 years in drum...
i still can't stand on the drum!!!
[although it is believe that standing or sitting on the drum is considered unrespect to the drum.. except for performance]
what to do?
even hooi min has made it today!!
[finally]
but when is my finally?
[see after 10 years i come back can d bo... i am 26 only k by that time...still young and energetic]
another 5 marks is for my rthym..
is it called rthym?
[whatever]
but ai-yin's comment about me not bad la...
she said:
''very not bad"
[translated from chinese]
but i think got some song i failed to follow the tempo la...
and another 5 marks is for my 'action'...
although their comment is:
''clean and sharp''
[again, translated from chinese]
but i think still got a very little space to improve la...

and...
the worst of all in the test...
i have not only failed to stand on the drum..
i oso got some "souvenir" from it...
3 souvenirs actually...
''black-green'' on my leg...
[this time translated from hokkien]
haiz...
i just waxed my leg last night and today...
i have got some ''decoration'' on it..
[cool]
anyway...
my spy told that i got 3 over 5 for that part of the test...
erm...
i can only say that my 'tester' is too generous to give me such a remarks...
[i thought that she will only give me 1 mark]

after that...
me, kar mun, wei yu, miyuki, brenda,
mei ling. mei ting, smile, chee lynn n sally
went to l'cottage for our lunch.
we are like totally ''siao po''.
that miyuki...
wahaha..
she ate an onion!!
[actually half only la]
because she thought that it is cooked so it should be OK...
but...
guess what?
i sat in front of her..
then her face turned red...
we asked her why...
she can't answer..
she kept pointing on her plate..
then...
wahaha...
tears flow down from her eyes...
wahaha...
this is the first time i saw people cry while eating...
and she is not eating wasabi either...
wahaha...

then...
we talked about hands...
then i tell smile:
''smile, you must keep smiling ha no matter how bitter u feel in KL.''
[I mean it]
haha...
miyuki say if smile don't smile anymore...
we will sue the hands...
let their hands cuffed...
haha...

then...
this is the part that make my so frustrated now...
don't know either chee lynn or wei yu la..
non stop watching at the time...
because we still have drum practice after the test..
the four golden flowers are back in school and we are still waiting for our ''coffee or tea''....
then...
a new idiom is created today:
''when you are having your meals, just enjoy it;
just ignore the time''...
[if not mistaken is created by miyuki in chinese]

i felt so guilty..
don't know why..
after the main course..
i can't enjoy my dessert and tea...
i sent a msg to srn...
she just want us to come back faster...

when we step into the classroom..
[where the meeting are on]
nobody cares about us...
they continue their discussion..
i thought that maybe they are mad on us..
[it would be different if it is the gold flowers that come in]
suddenly..
all the story changed..
fire...
at first...
i can't get the concept...
but slowly...
i can imagine it...

the pyjamas idea is good...
but...
deep in my heart...
there is a small me that says:
''will it be like...
cheap? not that kind of cheap la
but....
don't know how to explain...
ya the idea is creative and the first ever in drum history...
[unless the clothes that the team wears(the team i am saying here is the team which have a 'tweety bird-hair' coach and won silver medal in the competiton eh) is also counted as pyjamas because their wearing are quite casual also that night]
anyway...
wear pyjamas really have many benefits!!!
haha...

[yawned for the third time]
i really need a bed right now!!

一个朋友的故事- PART 2

主角: 隐,轩
配角: 肥也
新配角: 念


隐和轩吵架了,
应该是整所学校都知道的事,
就连平时只管纪律问题的老师也知道.
由此可以看出,
这见事情闹得有多大呀!

十月间,
雨季来临了.
轩没带伞,
肥也有司机为自己撑伞,
轩可怜了.
但,
还是旧的好.
隐的左手臂被雨淋湿了,
轩的右手臂也湿了.
这把浅蓝色的雨伞,
很明显的只能容纳一个人,
但隐还是不忍心看着轩被酸雨侵蚀,
宁愿自己毁了左臂,
也不愿看见曾是好友病倒.

这场雨连续下了好几天,
隐和轩的手臂也湿了好几天.

''隐和轩不是吵架吗?"
"隐和轩和好了?''
''你看! 隐的隔壁是轩吔''

这些声音不停地在隐和轩共伞的背后发出,
其中发问过的就是隐的另一个朋友-
念.

念是一位很好的倾诉对象,
隐和轩的不和,
她通通都了解.
念是个经常被隐误会说已经有了男朋友的人,
因为隐觉得念很幸福,
脸上写着的就只有'快乐'这两个字.
隐之所以会有这样的错觉,
全因为自己并没有过这种感觉,

这也不奇怪,
从轩和隐冷战的那一天开始,
隐想要体验这种感觉的可能性便变得更加渺茫了.
念认为说,
那几天的豪雨,
是为了隐和轩而造的.
若不是那几场雨,
隐应该再也没有机会再次和轩这么地靠近了.

念曾向隐说出她这样的一个看法,
隐并没做出什么回应,
但是,
念想,
隐应该也认同她的看法,
心里应该是在谢天谢地吧!

雨季过了,
考试的季节来临了.
想不到考试也能拉近了隐和轩的距离.
每天考试前,
隐和轩便会不约而同地出现在同一个地方温习.
虽然说周围还有其他人,
但至少,
隐和轩是在呼吸着同样的空气啊!
渐渐地,
隐会等轩一起上考场'打仗',
打完仗,
又会一起离开考场,
就好像那些义气人物常说的那一句:
''要回就一起回, 要死就一起死''.
隐和轩的距离再次被拉近了.

有一天,
轩发了一则短讯给念.
念有点惊讶.
念把这见事告诉隐时,
隐更是惊讶及好奇得不得了.
念问隐着急什么,
''那只是一则普通的'考试幸运符' 而已啊!''
那时隐扩大了的眼睛才慢慢恢复正常.

真想不到,
雨和考试,
这两个可说是世界首号敌人的事,
竟然会是隐和轩该感谢的事情.
真是人算不如天算啊!

##########################################################

给隐的话:
''我已经把你的名字从'引' 改成'隐'了, 满意了吗? 连'莲' 也换成'轩' 了,可以了吧?''

给读者的话:
''我就是念. 我再次誊清, 一切都只是隐的错觉.''

24 hours

"time not enough'.

jack neo should have also produce this kind of movie. many people say that time is precious, time is life, and, i agree with them. i believe that God is fair to all His people. we are all given 24 hours per day. but still, if you ask someone how is it feel like to have 24 hours, he or she would not give you any answer. why? i don't know. maybe people thought that they deserved to be given that 24hours since they were born. or mayb, they just never thought of it. so, what does it feel like to have 24 hours? hmmm, i think, it should be enough, if and only if-- i am extremely free!! lets do this again. so, what does it feel like to have 24hours? hmmm, i think, it would never be enough!!! for god sake, how can i survive with only 24 hours???!!!-- if and only if i am extremely busy.

"kabhi kushi kabhi gham"
another movie. one of my favourite indian movie. starred by almost-Datuk Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol. 'kabhi' means 'sometime' and either 'kushi' or 'gham' stands for 'happy' and the other one stands for 'sad'. [80%kushi=happy,20%gham=sad] i believe that when one person is 'gham', he or she will experienced a very long, not very easy to pass by- time.; when one person is 'kushi', then he or she break all the clocks or watches around so that nobody can tell him what is the time now, as he don't want to accept that the happiness is ending.

'24'
an american series. quite popular, among my english-speaking friends. to admit it, i never watch this series before, i just know that it is about some good guys and bad guys, and the among the good guys there are other bad guys and the good guys are trying to safe another good guy. that's all. one more thing i know about it is the people inside[the good guys] are lack of time. if the other good guy are not saved by the good guys in 24 hours, then the good guy will die. does the series talks about the importance of appreciating time? well, i don't think so.
*to any '24' fans out there, please correct me if i am wrong, and please, don't kill or hate me for that.

#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_
so, what is the conclusion? i will repeat my question again. what does it feel like to have 24 hours? is it too long? too short? people with stacks of paperwork on his desk will choose "too short'' as his answer. however, for those who have his mp3 on and remote control on his right hand and a packet of 'mister potato- bbq flavour' on his left hand, he will certainly complain that the time is too long. [ this kind of people should never be given a chance to live in this world]. as for me, i feel that 24 hours are.... they are... well... i am speachless. after 16 years, thousands of 24 hours are given to me, but still, i can't give you an answer. can you?

永远的内疚

人有时很奇怪,
或许他干过很多坏事,
犯过很多的错误,
他却一点也不记得,
而一件很小的,
很算不了什么的事却可以让他永远感到内疚.

我就有这种很强烈的感受.
说起来的确是一件很小的事,
而且那时候我才八九岁,
可是它却折磨了我许多年,
像一块石头压在心里,
想起来便觉得沉重.

那天星期日,
妈妈带我到外婆家去.
大人们在聊天,
小孩子便在一旁游戏.
那时候,
我的手上戴着一支黑皮带的手表,
由于我们正在玩水,
所以我便把手表脱下了.

随后,
我们这几个冬瓜又跑到外婆的睡房,
不玩,
光说话.
我坐在外婆的床上,
就在我的腿边,
有支黑色皮带的手表,
我以为那是从我的裤袋里掉出来的,
我便把它收起来.

午餐后,
冬瓜们又转移游乐场,
到大厅去了.
这时候,
我的舅母很着急在问大家是否看见外婆的手表.

不知怎么,
听到别人的手表不见了,
我也会担心起自己的手表是否还在,
我便摸了摸裤袋-
有.
等等,
怎么会有两支手表?
我拿出来看看,
咦, 两支手表都是黑皮带的吔,
只是属于我那一支的是C字头牌子的,
另一支陌生的是G字头牌子的.

我愣了一下,
试想把事情搞清楚.
一定是着样!
一定是我误以为那支在床上的手表是我的,
现在该怎么办才好?

我把外婆的手表塞进沙发的逢里,
之后再把手表拿出来,
说我找到了.
我的舅母不知是在开玩笑还是什么,
就问我:
"你偷的啊?"
"没有啊."
我否认了.
我真的没偷嘛,
只是拿错而已嘛.

从那时起,
对外婆的内疚就一直缠绕着我.
我对自己自责过很多,
也对自己安慰过很多
可是我仍摆脱不了这种纠缠.

这件事使我常常想,
人不能一时疏忽,
否则,
受伤的不只是他人,
更加深刻伤害的只能是你自己.

她的爱情故事

她是这样认识他的...
他叫RON.
大她一岁.

她在十四岁那一年认识RON的,
RON是她哥哥的学弟,
有一阵子,
她常常跟随她的父母到她哥哥的学校去载他,
就这样,
她遇见了RON.

RON这个男生,
只有一个字能形容:

"帅"

"非常超级帅'

[我见过]

"世上怎么会有另外一个版本的余文乐呢?" 她心想.
那不算一见钟情,
因为她只要一看到帅哥都会有这样的反应.

有一天,
RON跟她要电话.
她不肯,
因为要保持矜持.
[她的父母不在身旁]
之后,
RON就跟她要MSN,
她想了想:
"Y NOT?''

她和RON就这样开始了.

RON这个人很风趣,
喜欢开玩笑,
但又不会太过分,
最重要的是,
他的玩笑都能让她开心一整天.

RON曾带她到很多地方游玩,
其中最让她无法忘记的地方,
就是KL.

"在这样的一个繁忙都市能有什么浪漫可言啊?" 她的朋友问她.

正是因为它繁忙才刺激呀!

RON和她在KL游玩一天,
一整天的交通工具就是''十一号巴士''.
RON紧握着她的手,
一刻都不曾放下.
RON很体贴,
他知道他握得太紧了,
感觉到对方的手心开始冒汗,
他便停下脚步,
用手帕把汗抹干:
有时,
她累了,
RON就停下脚步来,
背着她走完下一段路程.

能不管其他人的眼光,
背着一个女生到处走的男人应该已经是限量版了吧?

他们的第一个情人节是这样度过的...
RON不送CADBURY给她,
也没带她去吃什么烛光晚餐,
因为他知道她正在减肥.

RON只做了一份三文治和一份沙拉,
再配上一杯果汁送她.
她刚开始时的确有点介意,
但又想想RON是为了自己着想才会只做便当送给她.
她慢慢地把三文治吃完,
就在这时候,
RON把十二朵红玫瑰拿出来,
她开心极了.
十二朵红玫瑰里头,
有十一朵是真花,
有一朵是假花.
她不懂.

RON说: "我会爱你直到最后一朵玫瑰枯了为止."

她, 笑了.

张老师

刚刚去了'巨人'超级市场,
看见了一个人,
一位老师.
她曾经教过我,
是我小学一,二年级的级任老师.

她变了.
她的头发长了,
我妈说,
她变年轻,
变矮了,
[这是因为她没穿高根鞋,平时她在学校都会穿]

别想了,
像我这种人是不可能主动向前去叫她的,
我只是站在一旁,
仔细观察这位老师.

说真的,
她的变化并不大,
只是头发变长了而已,
岁月并没有在她的身上留下痕迹.

不知道她是否还在那儿教书呢?
因为我已经很久没回去了.
不知道为什么,
以前只要一路过小学,
我的头就很自然地会转向它的方向,
现在,没了.

她在我的影像中应该是这样的:
-短发,
-不曾穿过平底鞋
-几乎每天都穿连身裙
-声音挺轰亮的

记得有一次,
她把粉笔擦丟向一个学生的脸,
忘记了是因为什么事,
只知道那位学生并没哭,
她很生气,
不知道骂了什么,
过后才叫那位学生去洗脸.
那真是我第一次看见她那么地生气,
我们全班都被吓坏了.

那时候是二年级,
也是我最后一次被她教了.

今天,
再次遇见她,
有一种感觉,
不知道怎样形容,
总而言之,
就是很奇怪.
相隔这么多年了,
竟然还能遇见,
只因一个字- 缘

一个朋友的故事-PART 1

主角: 莲, 引
配角: 肥也, 丸
情景: 学校

有一天, 莲认识了引.
这是天意...

那天的前一个星期,
引的远方亲戚说起了自己的故事.
她有个孩子,
她和引同岁,
就读同一所学校.
她不知怎么了,
不停地跟引说起她孩子的故事,
引心想: 莫名其妙!
后来还把孩子的名字写下来给引看...

"莲"

引收下那张纸,
敷衍了她,
便走进房里去了.

天意啊!

引就坐在莲的隔壁!
整所学校有上千个人,
却给引碰到了,
真是有缘到极点了.

引和莲成为了好朋友,
全校的人都把引和莲配成一对,
让引和莲极为尴尬.

三年过去了....

引和莲的友谊受到考验了,
因为..
肥也出现了.

简单来说,
肥也抢走了莲!

引心痛,
痛!
痛得每晚半夜醒来,
以泪洗脸;
早上,
行尸走肉,
更惨的是,
肥也也和引同班,
也就是说和莲同班.

有一天, 莲换位了,
换到肥也隔璧.
引每天都被莲和那块肥也的笑声弄得痛不如生.
引真的有想过不想活了,
但又心想: 何必呢? 这样的人? 值得吗?

引努力挽回这段友情....
失败了.

引曾经....
每天无时无刻发短讯给莲,
问问莲这段友情的病根藏在何处.
莲就像徐志摩一样潇洒,
莲的答案并不是答案.
因此,
引又开始懊恼了.

引曾经...
写封信给莲,
莲没打开那封信,
因为,
莲大约知道引想要对自己说些什么.
因此,
引还是拿不到答案.

引开始...
每天都想着避开莲,
还有莲和肥也的笑声,
但要怎么避呢?
毕竟在同一班上课.
因此,
引开始旷课了.

引开始...
写短讯发给其他人,
找回当初自己为了莲而抛下的朋友,
引变开朗了许多.
因此,
引开始从黑暗中走出来了.

"丸啊, 帮忙跟引说待会儿去见老师."
"丸啊, 跟莲讲老师今天没有来啊."
"丸啊, 跟... 算了."

顿时静了起来.

虽然说引和莲很少接触,
但有时还是免不了的.
这时候,
就得劳烦丸了-
引和莲的同班同学,
替引和莲传话.

基本上,
丸并没替引和莲传话,
丸只是个挡箭牌.
丸还没来得及传话,
另一方已经回话了,
因为引和莲的距离只不过是一根柱子之差,
就算是老人家没戴助听器也听得见.

丸是莲的"妹妹",
另一方面也是引的间谍.
其实也不是引聘请丸做间谍的,
是丸自愿的,
因为,
丸也快顶不顺那块肥也了!
所以,
只要莲那儿有什么事,
引还是可以像以前那样第一个知道,
只是,
引再也不可能成为第一个与莲同甘共苦的人了.

#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#__#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#__#_##_#_#_#_#_#_#_#__#_#_#_#__#_##

我...
不懂...
这个故事...
它的开头让我觉得不可思议,
到了中间,
我讨厌第三者,
到了尾端,
我觉得好笑.

我不懂...
友谊真的那么难搞吗?
在我身边的朋友有很多都面临着"友谊灾难",
但我似乎真的没经历过类似问题.
一位我认识的人曾经这样说过:
" 多一个朋友, 又不会多一包nasi lemak,
少一个朋友, 又不会少一块roti canai."

我听了觉得这句话有点现实,
但也许我就是因为这句话才不会身处在他们的情况.

这是一个真实故事.
引是我的朋友,
莲是我的同学,
丸和肥也都是我的同学.

给引的话:
记得我的话:
" 有莲没鼓, 有鼓没莲"

给莲的话:
"引不是故意的, 虽然我只听到引单方面的故事,但我相信你的故事也一样的吧? 把那些尴尬彻底消除掉, 好吗?"

给肥也的话:
"其实你也不是真正要和莲做朋友的吧? 你只是欣赏莲的才华与知识. 或许你真的有那份心, 但你知不知道, 你伤了引?"

给丸的话:
"辛苦你了! 但我想你也蛮enjoy这种间谍的生活吧?"

闷

只有一个字能形容我现在的心情.....
闷....
所以...
我开始了...
我也不懂我将来会不会很坦白...
但希望...
我会...

今天...
不....
是昨天...
已经开始觉得闷了...

"什么, 才过了一个星期而以?"

我是这样对我自己说...
不知不觉中...
我很怀念...
怀念和我的第二个家在一起时的快乐时光...
什么时候才能见到你们呢?
又会是什么时候才会遇到他呢?
你们...
我可以预计到时间...
但他...
我就不晓得...
希望遇到时...
我能够保持镇定...
挽回我们之前所有的遗憾....

好了...
不谈怀念了...
谈了只会闷上加烦....

keem,
i m sorry...
我无法出席...
但我保证..
下一次..
我一定会出席...
但...
不知道..
还会不会有下一次...
毕竟...
我们已来到中学生涯的尽头...
以后...
也许再也不会有下一次...

文,
对不起...
你每次都很努力...
每次有举办....
你一定会通知我...
但...
我却让你失望了...
现在....
我无法解释...
只求你不要认为我是个容易忘本的人...
以后..
如果还有以后...
我一定到...
给你个建议..
海边....

说真的...
十三岁前的回忆...
我并不是很想记得...
我比较想记得十三岁后的回忆...
尤其是十四岁的...
我更不想忘记....
所以...
如果要说我忘恩负义...
我也没办法...
my heart tell me to do so...

无论如何...
我很闷...
刚刚约了一个不知算不算是知己的朋友出去...
这个人...
背后隐藏着一段故事...
她不让我说...
因为她深怕另一方会宰了她...
算了...
现在是言论自由的社会...
我想说就说...
谁能阻挡得了我...
她也不能....
但...
改次吧...
我..
累了...